Trucks, trucks, and more trucks

Perhaps it is being the only female in this family, but most often, conversations while traveling are like this.
Greg, "Did you see that truck?"
Kids "Yeah, cool truck."
Greg, "Did you see that other truck?"
Kids, "Yeah, that was a cool truck too."

While these types of conversations go on, I am looking at the trucks wondering what makes one cool and another not. Honestly, they all look the same, just in different colors and sizes. I suppose Greg feels like I do when he has to listen to conversations I have with my girl friends like this:

Me "Hey, did you see her shoes?"
Friends "Oh my gosh, they were so cute."

Greg has stated that for the most part, all my shoes look the same except in different colors.

Timelines

Timeline, deadline, scheduling and things of this nature has been on mind lately. For example, as a teacher, in the beginning of each school year, I submit a yearly calendar with units I plan on teaching. Next, those units are divided further into weekly plans, then daily lesson plans. At the bottom of each of these documents is this statement, "Plans are Subject to Change." I put that there because regardless of what I plan, things change because of weather conditions or school events. If I plan on teaching tennis and there is a wind storm, plans are subject to change. If I plan on teaching yoga in the gym and the school needs the gym for band practice, plans are subject to change.

I don't like change. My students will testify that I stick am pretty strict about sticking to my schedule.

As parents, we also have in our mind certain plans, timeline, deadlines for our kids. I am learning that what we plan for them is subject to change. For example, I would have never planned on Kel coming home for 6 months. Once home, I imagined quickly rushing him to see a doctor and an immediate recovery would happen. I am learning that things do not happen as fast as I would like. He has only seen the counselor once. He has another appointment this week. Kel, too is learning that things do not move as fast as he would like. We are both experiencing a lesson in patience particularly that 6 months is going to take 6 months, not fly by in moments like we had hoped.

I have heard, "man plans, God laughs." and I am almost ready to agree.

Life Is Messy

Much has happened in a rather short time for us. It began with a phone call from Kel's mission president (Murray) letting us know that Kel had 2 anxiety attacks. He gave us Kel's number and told us to call and talk to him. When he did, Kel spent most of the conversation sobbing, a completely melt down. This made us worry even more. After a few days, President Murray spoke to us again letting us know that the anxiety attacks had not ceased and after having Kel speak with the church psychologist, they were considering sending him home on a "mental medical." He stated that the mission was not equipped with handling this type of situation. A few days after that, Kel came home. He will be required to stay home and obtain treatment for his anxiety attacks for at least 6 months.

I wanted to write to record my feelings while they were still fresh. My reaction after the first notice was worry. Next comes the sadness at the possibility that Kel would come home; the sadness about what people would say and think. We tend to stigmatize our young men if they aren't perfect. After a good night's sleep, a day of fasting and prayer, I woke up happy. Yes, happy. I was happy that life was messy. A messy life makes me dependent upon the habits of scripture study, temple attendance, prayers, service, whereas having a perfect life, I might not be.

I became grateful for the many friends who reached out with desires to help, without judgment. I am profoundly grateful for a bishop who called Kel repeatedly (while on vacation cruising the Virgin Islands, no less), a stake president who was ready to support him and us, whatever the outcome, and a mission president who knew Kel needed help that would require him to return home.

I realized from this whirlwind emotional experience which began 7 days ago that though it would be nice to have a perfect life with perfect children, a messy life helps me, helps us to grow.

Kel is home. We will proceed to get him into a good doctor. He wants to return to his mission. He is worried and scared. In short, he isn't perfect . . . which is fine, since I only know of one person who is.

What's In A Name

I just finished reading Sara's blog (see blog list) and got to thinking about the role names play in our lives. With a name like Hoai-My, I have a unique perspective on this topic. I imagine if I had grew up in Viet Nam, my name would be an non issue. The reality was living in the US with this name has put me in a position to be called Ho-my, Homes, Hoi, Homey, Homini, etc. My sis in law Alayna likes to call me Whyms. I really don't mind, I know to whom they are referring to-though I don't care for being called a HO.

Things I Miss

When Kel left, excuse me, Elder Winder left, I thought I wouldn't miss

a) my house smelling like tuna
Kel went through a stage of 6 weeks where he ate nothing but tuna fish for lunch. We laughed at how our friend Barry went through something like that when he ate lots of tuna. Ask Abby, she'll verify.

b) not sleeping well at night
Kel was working as a security guard and got off at 2am. I wouldn't really sleep until he came home.

c) the sound of Michael screaming, "I hate you Kel"
Kel is a tease. When someone is angry, screaming, or crying, Kel is involved if not completely responsible for it. Even Michael says he misses fighting with Kel.

d) smelly kung fu studios
Kel took kung fu lessons for over 4 years. In the summer, that studio stunk from men sweating. I would come in and quickly signal for him and wait in the car. The heat outside was easier to deal with then the smell inside.

I didn't think I will miss these little things, but of course, I do.

Yup-44!

I am 44. I suppose I am to say that I am so much the wiser for being this age. Nevertheless, I feel like I have so much to learn. Here's what I know so far:

1) Be nice. No one remembers anything you stood for or what you believe in. All they remember is whether you were nice or mean to them. I am sorry for being mean to so many people.

2) Parenthood is hard. If you don't believe me, ask Adam and Eve.

3) Parenthood is the greatest job on Earth. I know I contradicted my previous statement. It's a ying/yang thing.

4) Don't say that you "love" your job. You don't. You enjoy your job. You love your family and some friends. (Lesson learned from Bishop Prince) In this same respect, don't think at your job, you are irreplaceable. You are only irreplaceable to your family and a couple of friends, not for those you work for.

5) Have some diversity in your life. Know people from different places and cultures. Don't trap yourself in a bubble.

6) Don't put an age limit on friendships. I have learned much from those older than me and likewise from those younger than me.

7) Expensive shampoos are only worth the extra money if they make your scalp tingle.

8) Don't shave your arms. It grows back darker and thicker.

9) Don't eat ice cream every day for a week if you're lactose intolerant. Your stomach will swell and make you look 6 months pregnant.

10) If you want people to like you, tell them how great their kids are. If you do it often enough, you actually start to believe it. There are worse things in life than to think highly of the youth.